Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Do They Share?

At the kids’ final Early Intervention Session (yeah - knock on wood), one of the questions Beth, the kids' therapist, asked was if they “shared.” They don’t. At all.

Henry will sort of "share" when he rolls a ball to me, but only with the expectation that I will roll the ball back to him. I don’t think Henry would roll me a ball if he thought I was just going to take the ball and leave. Nor should he.

I wasn't aware that sharing was a developmental milestone or something that we should be encouraging. I read the baby books, but I just missed that part. I think we may have even been discouraging sharing buy buying three of everything, like these soccer balls.

If it is a milestone, I really haven’t hit it myself. I don’t share my stuff. As a non-sharer, I don't know how I can encourage this behavior in my children. I have my stuff, other people have theirs, and never the twain shall meet.

I question whether sharing is even a good thing. If a child shares, the child has less of whatever resource is being shared. I can see the purpose of sharing in a hunter gatherer society where one person kills a bird and someone else has some berries, so they make a meal out of it. But we have Publix. We don't need to share now. We can just get our own stuff.

I know that while it is odd but semi-tolerated for me to blurt out "I'm not sharing" after a waiter at PF Chang's tells the table about how the restaurant encourages trying each other's plates, that same behavior may not go over well in a kindergarten class. I also know that am not in a position to be overly critical when I get a note from a teacher that says Henry doesn't share well with others.


  1. Yeah. Your wife kinda gave that one up when she commented on her blog about you being a little "grumpy" when she wants to borrow your laptop. Although, I am still not sure a bald guy in plaid pants can really pull off the whole "grumpy" thing. Can't agree more on the sharing thing. Occasional sharing is fine. Important things cannot be shared. Such as: chocolate, coffee, laptops, BlackBerries, digital camera's, and did I mention coffee? The exception to these Rules of Sharing though, Gary would be this. There are NO Rules of Sharing when it comes to your wife. Just ask my husband. Is it not written somewhere that wives have an all encompassing entitlement to all things?
    BTW: fabulous new blog design! It's like "Bald Guy In Plaid Pants" went and 'pimped' his blog!

  2. Obrien, I am fortunate to be married to a non-sharer as well. She understands my issues. I give things to people; that's not grumpy. I just don't share. I would sooner buy a person a plate of food than share mine. Strange, I know.

    I'm glad you like the blog. Krystyn from Krizzy Designs did it. She is really nice and easy to work with.

  3. Hahaha love the comment... We have a public, we don't need to share. Hilarious!