Thursday, July 2, 2009

Are They Twins?

So, I was on the phone with Poison Control last night after the girls played in / ate about an eight of a tub of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. Henry, because he has a big brain inside that big melon of his, did not partake in the snack.

I told P.C. about the incident and what happened, and we had this exchange:

P.C.: How old are the girls?
Me: One.
P.C.: Are they twins?
Me: Yes . . . well, sort of. They are two of a set of three, but the third one didn't eat any butt paste. So, I guess they are twins with respect to each other, but they aren't the only two.
P.C.: So they are triplets?
Me.: Yes. But only two ate the butt paste.

Normally, I would just let the twin question go with a "yes" if I don't know the person, but this was health care related and I thought it might be relevant that the girls are high order multiples.

The "twin" question usually comes up when I am walking with a double stroller containing the two girls and I don't want to flag down Heather with Henry in the single stroller after the person asks to see the other baby. The only other time I said they were twins was when I was in Gymboree on an emergency swimsuit/cover-up/floppy hat run and the salesperson who asked me was a mother of twins. I just didn't feel like one-upping the nice lady who had helped me pick the swimwear ensembles by saying that there was really one more baby, but the other baby already had a full compliment of swimwear and swimwear related accessories. I was also in a hurry to get out of Gymboree because girls' clothes stress me out. In hindsight, my not wanting to one-up the nice lady wasn't reasonable, but I was all out of sorts from the exposure to the girls' clothes.

Anyway, after I got off the phone with P.C., Heather and I were talking about the "twins" thing. She thinks the girls are never twins because they are two of a set of three. I can't argue with that logic, but I also can't get around the confusion and complexity I add to a conversation when I am speaking of just two kids, in isolation of the third kid, and I say they are triplets. As the kids get older and do more girls things and boy things apart from each other, I am going to have to come up with a concise statement in response to this question. As of yet, I don't have one.


  1. Gary,
    You never did finish the "butt paste" story...I am on the edge of my seat...we, in our family, are past the edible "butt paste" phase, but you never know when a friend or family member will be in a "butt paste" crisis, desperately in need of the knowledge of if a "butt paste" sandwich will send you to an early demise...
    Thanks, any and all P.C. knowledge is helpful,
    Tyler D.

  2. Tyler, The butt paste is as non-toxic as it is delicious - at least in limited quantities, like 2 oz. for a one year old. I think I could eat over a pound of it and be OK, which I may do just so I can talk to the nice people at P.C. again. Surely that would shock them. It just makes kids throw up or do the other thing, both of which smell minty fresh after the butt paste.