Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How Often Does This Happen?

I pulled up next to Heather at a traffic light after work the other day. We weren't anywhere near the house or our offices, so I wasn't expecting to see her. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to surprise my wife, I scratched out this note, put it up in the driver's side window, and honked the horn.

I know. It lacks originality - and penmanship, but I only had a few seconds. "I heart you" was the best I could come up with on short notice.

I was peering around my makeshift sign as I honked the horn. Heather heard the honk and slowly turned her head with a look short of disgust, but not by much. She glared at my sign, rolled her eyes, and looked back straight ahead.

Huh? You would think the same thing had happened at the last four traffic lights. If my sign had said "show me your boobs," or my horn played Dixie, I would expect the reaction, but I hearted her. With a nice little beep. And she just rolled her eyes.

I wasn't going to let this go with her thinking (another) stranger had professed his love for her, so I slid the sign all the way forward in my window and honked again - a little longer than the first one. This time she looked over at me with full annoyance and disgust mixed with a little pity. If it wasn't my own wife shooting down my bad game, I would have been irretrievably shamed.

Fortunately, she saw it was me and laughed. I laughed too, but not quite as hard. At least I know my wife isn't interested in flattery from idiots.


  1. Hey Gary! Just wanted to let you know that you were nominated as Funniest Blog over at Multiples and More:)

  2. "...but I hearted her. With a nice little beep."

    I can sense your sad confusion, and it makes me laugh. I think I might be a bad person.

  3. ahhaha that is so funny she didn't realize it was you!!