Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Meet the Judgers

Hi. We're the Judgers.

Mr. and Mrs. Judger to be precise.

We met while backpacking through Europe. We've been married for almost two years. No kids yet. Maybe we will; maybe we won't. We don't want to tie ourselves down yet, you know. We enjoy sipping coffee during the day and sipping white wine at night. And walks. We like walks. Just the two of us, hand in hand. Listening to the birds chirping and the breeze blowing through the leaves.

Our favourite place to walk is Aldridge Gardens. We spell favourite like that because we've been to England. We spell colour like this, in case you were wondering. Where were we? Oh yes, the gardens. Aldridge Gardens is so peaceful and serene. We spend hours there almost every weekend. It reminds us of some of the parks around London. We've been to London. Have you? You should go.

The only problem we have with Aldridge Gardens is this obnoxious couple and their three kids. They pollute the gardens with their presence more often than not. When we walk towards them on the trail, they only move their four foot wide stroller off to one side about half way, leaving us cramped into using only three feet of trail. The dad tries to smile at us, but we don't make eye contact with him. It only encourages those types of people.

The worst part about these people is their screaming child. The one that makes all the noise is a girl, we think. Actually, we don't know or care. But it yells. We've seen it yell twice. Once it was mad and yelling and the other time it was happy and yelling. It yells either way and they do nothing to stop it. I know they can; but they won't. And the woman is pregnant with another one. Isn't three noisemaking things enough for two people? Walking around with three kids and pregnant with another like they own the place.

We glare in their direction to make them be quiet and take up less space, but they refuse. The next time we see that child yell, we intend to lodge formal complaint with the park service.

The Judgers.


  1. How dare you only allow THREE FEET for this couple to hold hands past you?! The audacity!!!

    I think I know the cousins to these people. The Snooties. They live near us and believe that children should never eat at restaurants. EVER. Unless it's Chucky Cheese's.

    Don't worry. They get what's coming to them eventually. The Snooties ended up having twins. JUSTICE!

  2. OH! Since you brought it up.....we live next to their second cousin on the wife's paternal side: The One-Uppers. We bought a pool. They bought a bigger one. We bought a Suburban. They bought a bigger one. We just bought a bigger house. Goodbye, neighbor!

  3. Enjoyed the chuckle. You sure are a clever fella. I will never forget the time I was criticized by a 25 single dude about using the TV to entertain my 18 month old during Thanksgiving dinner. He made a snide comment about the "electronic babysitter". Jackass. I really hope he accidentally knocks someone up and eats his words one day!

    Enjoy your blog.

  4. Oh yes, those are the people who will have the worst-behaved, most uncontrollable children ever one of these days. Judgers usually do.

  5. Yes, I used to be one of those people who wondered why parents couldn't control their children in the grocery store. Karma got me.

  6. I always said I would NEVER let my kids run around with snotty noses. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......